If You Like it Dirty Late at Night, Well....

 There's something about late night television that you should accept: no one gives a shit about Jay or Dave anymore. Jay's a terminally unhip schlub who stole Conan O'Brien's career and Dave, while much more palatable and edgy, is still getting up there in years and pulls the same tie-adjusting-slightly-corny tics and tricks he's been using for thirty years. I love you Dave, but I can only take two decades of the Top Ten not being very funny.

Plus the format is tired. Clapclapclap, monologue with jokes about something that happened two days ago, band plays filler, pre-taped bit, then big name guest comes out, ego stroke, small time guest comes out to plug book or TV show (because TV stars are C-list compared to film stars), then possible musical guest, good night.

So the rigamarole of the late-night talk show is depressingly familiar and hard to upend. I'm not a big Kimmel fan, although I loved the Lost specials he did when the show was going off the air. But he often feels like too much of a shill for ABC, like they take corporate synergy WAY too seriously. He pokes a little fun at the latest Dancing With the Stars castoff, but it's all a bit glossy for me. Jimmy Fallon is funny, amiable, cool, and young, but I'm not a big "funny song" kind of girl, and his energy is a bit nervous. Fallon does get points for coming up with original and fun stuff to do with his celebrities that don't include eliciting the same five stories from these actors that everyone on a press junket gets. One other problem with Fallon: he's on at the same time as the one guy who gives late night viewers a subversive, smart, and strange option (granted you can stay up late enough.)

Craig in his "poorly-lit basement"

Craig Ferguson has always been funny, intelligent, and self-deprecating. Late night guys have to be. But I knew he was really something special when he came on the air after his dad died. Ferguson improvs his monologues, so they can get a little tangential and silly; but this night, January 30, 2006 -- Ferguson spoke directly from his heart, eulogizing his father with a mix of rueful and hysterical stories and effectively introduced the audience to a vividly drawn picture of his beloved parent. For a variety TV host to open himself up like that, to turn his pain and grief into something universal and FUNNY….I was bawling and laughing and moved, profoundly. You can watch it for yourself here and here.

And so my dedication to this Scottish (now-naturalized) crazy person began, and no matter my work schedule I try to religiously watch him. Repeat viewing is rewarded by this show -- jokes carry over into the next night, sometimes for weeks, and there's a plethora of regular guests who have running gags (Kristen Bell, Lauren Graham, Chris Hardwick,) plus puppets who open the show (Sid the potty-mouthed bunny, Wavy the stoner cajun alligator,) and a gay robot  skeleton sidekick named Geoff Peterson. Gay. Robot. Skeleton sidekick.

Geoff is literally a stationary robot with a skeleton head, a metal mohawk, and a cheap suit draped with Mardi Gras beads. He has his own podium on stage, and as voiced by the exceptionally talented Josh Robert Thompson, he is the perfect representation of the silly slyness that Ferguson's show lives and breathes. It shouldn't work -- you can see Geoff's a bucket of parts cobbled together by Grant from Mythbusters, and he can't move very much, and he's got cold LED lights for eyes. But the writers, the voice, and Craig himself have imbued this inanimate object with a fucking soul, I swear to god. And Geoff has become integral to the show -- Thompson is off for two weeks right now, during which time they have plugged celebrities into his chair to be the voice of Geoff. Alfred Molina, Thomas Lennon, and Larry King all had a go last week. This week it's been ladies, and while Lauren Graham kinda bombed, Paula Poundstone and Angela Kinsey have saved some face since then. All of these performers gamely shared a desire to play -- to play along, to play with expectations, to play up the sheer strangeness of this late night experiment.

Larry King as Geoff - note the suspenders

The Late Late Show is the only television show of its kind that has won a Peabody award--for an hour-long interview with Desmond Tutu in which Ferguson displayed vast knowledge of South Africa's geo-political history-- while also staging awesome lip-synced numbers to punk songs in French and Duran Duran covers of "White Lines." The Late Late Show went highbrow and became "Le Late Late Show avec Craig Ferguson" for a week when Craig, Geoff, and Kristen Bell went to Paris and shot a week's worth of shows in and around the city. Mind you, there was zero real studio. They had no permits. They literally set up a card table on the sidewalk and slid through Versailles with socks on, because it seemed like the thing to do. And then the next day there's a "mouth organ" joke and an obscure Doctor Who reference. It's like a post-modern, Henson-less Muppet Show with more dirty jokes.

So if you are into the late-night talk show thing and have yet to give Craig Ferguson a go, please please do yourself a favor. Watch him, once, and tell me that he isn't the most original thing you've seen after midnight (outside of Adult Swim.) And watch some of the stuff from the Paris shows if you can't stay up that late. SO totally worth it.

On Doctor Who and Attractive Scots

David Tennant courtesy DreamWorks

I paid good money to see Fright Night, despite my belief that no one will out-sexy '80's Chris Sarandon (creepy-sexy, not sexy-sexy.) It was decent, happily, and written by Buffy scribe Marti Noxon, so it had smart dialogue. Colin Farrell did his best Nic Cage (seriously strange,) only hotter, and Anton Yelchin was as adept and adorable as he always is. The reason I put my butt in that seat, however, was David Tennant.  And it was worth every penny. Tennant played a Criss Angel type, a Vegas illusionist with goth trappings, and he owned every scene he was in. And the eyeliner! I could die! More thin Scottish men in leather pants, please. David Tennant might not be anyone you've heard of, but he's been Hamlet, and Barty Crouch in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Most importantly, he's my Doctor.

"Doctor Who." British TV show, broadcast off and on since 1963, and he's been played by 11 different actors--the character's body regenerates, conveniently. It's a thing. He's got a blue police box called the TARDIS that is really gigantic on the inside and can travel through time and space. Want to spy on Shakespeare? Sure. Visit New Earth in the year 5 billion and twenty three? OK, but watch out for the cat-faced nuns. The Doctor (his name isn't Doctor Who, never ever call him that) travels around the universe in the TARDIS, with human companion(s), saving some civilizations and damning others. He's like the sheriff. Of the entirety of space and time.

The show returns to BBC America on Saturday night for the second half of season 6. The first 7 episodes aired in April, ending on a crazy cliffhanger, but jumping right in is strongly encouraged! There are plenty of stand-alone mystery hours that don't require encyclopedic knowledge of the mythos. The show is, at its heart, classic sci-fi with fantasy elements, a bit of horror, and a new lesson every week about what it is to be human, or to have humanity. Easy to get.  And you get to look at this guy:

Matt Smith and the TARDIS

This is Doctor Who in his 11th incarnation, portrayed by Matt Smith since series 5 began last year. He's younger, naughtier, and the vibe of the show is edgier and more fairytale-esque than the Tennant years. Smith has a distinctly nutty-professor thing going on that is very, very appealing. The guy's like 25 and he gives you nothing but ancient soul and the weight of the world when he needs to. Then he goes and dips fish sticks in custard and you realize "Ahhh, he really is the whole wacky package." You immediately want to leave your dismal existence and climb aboard his police box. You want him to pick you. That's the essence of imagination, and as an adult it's difficult to suspend your pragmatism long enough to access that feeling without a little help.

Mention must be made of Alex Kingston, as the mysterious River Song, who is evidently the Doctor's great love (but due to time travel hoo-ha, he doesn't really know it yet,) and the superb Karen Gillan, as Amy Pond. She delivers willful intelligence with just a purse of her lips. She is funny, feisty, and utterly devoted to her husband, Rory, played with excellent comedic timing by Arthur Darvill. Darvill is the heart of the team, though, not just the funny yutz in the corner. The two actors have goofy, sweet chemistry, and to watch the Doctor watch Amy and Rory have a loving relationship has added extra dimension to every relationship on the show.

So to review: Doctor Who--TARDIS--Time/Space travel--Cool aliens--Bow ties.

He wears bow ties. They're cool. It's a thing.

Watch BBC America on Saturday night at 9:00, let me know what you think.